We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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