I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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