fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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