just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
