so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
