Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
