it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
