I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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