Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
