It's Friday. Sex?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
