so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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