watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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