I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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