Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
