Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
