do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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