i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
