fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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