life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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