im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
