I hate all girls vehemently.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize