In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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