I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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