I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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