evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
