Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
