Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
