elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
