Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
