She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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