this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
