It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
