Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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