weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
