You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
