so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
