Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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