hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
