I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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