TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
