The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
two words: eviction party
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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