what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
