STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
