She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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