I puked a lego.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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