I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
