If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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