how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
