and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So vagazzling was a success
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