he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
