Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
