we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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