my mouth tastes like poor choices
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
