the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
