I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
