no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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