her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
