we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
