do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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