My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
